When it comes to raising kids, there will always be obstacles.
With that said, we have to admit that single parents have a few (and by a few, I mean many!) more hurdles.
Single parents come in all shapes and sizes, from a grandparent to an aunt or uncle to a single mother or a single father. Today, let’s focus on all those single mamas out there working to fill the void of an absent father.
Where does a single mother start when searching for active ways to raise their kid?
Understanding the psychological role of loss in a child’s life is a great way to move forward with single parenting.
The loss of a parent — whether the loss is voluntarily or involuntarily — will have rippling effects throughout a child’s life. This is a fact that you can’t get around. Yet, the remaining parent — mama in this case! — has all the power to make that child’s life just as wonderful. The truth of the matter is that all kids need the same things from both mom and dad: a loving, supportive, and positively engaged parent.
As a single mama, there’s lots to learn when it comes to raising kids, yet let’s simplify it! What should you focus on to raise a strong, well-rounded, confident kiddo?
1. Unconditional love. First and foremost, this is a must. Plain and simple!
2. Negative is worse than none. This is not only a good way to think about a negative parent that is no longer around, but it’s also something to keep in mind for your own actions. Constant negativity will cause a rippling effect throughout your child’s life. Therefore, kick negativity to the curb!
3. You are a risk factor too. Single parenting is a developmental risk factor. That’s because single parenting is incredibly challenging! When the only parent left in the house is completely overwhelmed and stressed, these feelings spill over into the kids and can cause an uptick in their grief, anxiety, stress, and worry. It’s more important than ever to invest in self-care, however that may manifest!
4. Mamas have male energy too! To raise a strong, confident kiddo, single mamas need to embrace all of themselves, “including those traits that our culture has told us are the province of the other gender.” Yet, when you feel you just don’t have it in you, ask for help! There’s lots of resources out there to help single parents along the way.
5. Healing from loss is natural, how one handles loss can be life changing. Loss, whether that’s from divorce or death, can be scary and traumatizing. Kids heal from loss! It’s the extensive scar tissue from a lengthy divorce battle or rejection from the remaining parent that will cause serious developmental issues. Therefore, make sure to be a bright light of positivity, a solid foundation, and a source of happiness for your kiddo!
6. Don’t let the past affect your relationship. Put aside negative feelings about your divorce. Get help to grieve the loss of your partner. Come to terms with a father that was never around in the first place. Negative emotions will only stem uncertainty, fear, and anxiety in your kiddos!